The channel U superstar (school) project.

I believe I saw someone from lai fo shi shu yuan.

Hmm. Ming called. He wanted to return me the cab fare that night. But the visit to the doctor today is at 12 leh.


----------------------------
woah. quite some responses.

My nick is:
Frib. : If we are the final products of evolution, then we must assume that God is somewhat flawed.


[11:13:32 AM] Gi: who says that we r the final product of
evo?
[11:13:39 AM] Gi: evo is a continuous process
[11:27:04 AM] Gi: however, theoretically, the world will end
one day
[11:27:28 AM] Gi: the entropy of the universe is increasing
[11:27:33 AM] Gi: n there is a limit
[11:28:04 AM] Gi: the sun's energy, from nuclear fusion will
deplete someday
[11:28:56 AM] * Frib. : If we are the final products of evolution,
then we must assume that god(s) is(/are) somewhat
flawed. is now Away (idle)
[11:29:03 AM] * Frib. : If we are the final products of evolution,
then we must assume that god(s) is(/are) somewhat
flawed. is now Online
[11:29:04 AM] Giving up is the shortcut to failure. has left
the conversation.



[11:09:22 AM] the brave ma: christians don't believe in evolution
[11:09:35 AM] the brave ma: people who believe in evolution don't
believe in a god, strictly speaking
[11:09:49 AM] the brave ma: because they believe humans themselves are
responsible for changing and becoming who they are
today
[11:10:34 AM] the brave ma: if you want to say from a christian
p.o.v., adam and eve were perfect, but they were
essentially changed by satan


[11:04:57 AM] life is so r: hmm..
[11:05:02 AM] life is so r: that a nice line ..
[11:05:08 AM] He: what is
[11:05:09 AM] life is so r: your display nick..
[11:05:12 AM] He: oh

I'm going to doc later. Quite bad. Lips color turned from red to pink (that means turning pale for normal people). Lips kinda bloody with red 'pits', so I figured that it cracked while I was sleeping.

Thoughts. What's new.

Half naked, bathing in the LCD light, pillow-wielding, me. I find comfort sitting in the dark.


It has been yet another week. Of life, of work, of thoughts. I've not changed, nothing dramatic happened.

(I was thinking of so many things just now while I was lying on my bed coughing away and now I can't seem to think of things.)

I wonder if I did the wrong thing. I don't really like the idea that I'm selling my life(time) for some money. But what else would I, or could I do? Perhaps this is, the best option of the few choices in hand. I told mum I would foot the driving lessons/practicals, and her, the car(haha). It's not that cheap to learn, for your info, it's about 3k to 4k.

I live in constant fear of getting sacked. Reason being, I'm in a sense too effective. I finish my job in about 2 to 4 hours in an average day when we are supposed to finish them in 9 hours. Maybe they would think I was skiving, and that I filled up the survey questions myself without going to the shops, being able to clear so fast. And also, today was like one of the fastest day, but the problem is that, a handful of shops are closed, so I can't do much about them. then again, getting sacked isn't that bad. Maybe bad testimony later when your future employer calls up the ex. Paranoia, of mine.

Contemplating. Wondering about the future. Feels very bleak. How cliche. Can't even be sure if I can live till tomorrow and here I am worrying about 50 years down the road. I have yet to look up the courses offered by local Us and polys. Even right now, when I'm working for only about 4 hours a day, and given MSN and the internet, I feel terrible. What a lonely job for a loner. Um. I don't suppose you can talk to collegues much during working hours, but I guess you could eye them and talk a little rubbish when the manager isn't around. I don't know. I think I pissed off one collegue, I don't like 2, one's a schoolmate, so, that gives me like 4 acquaintances out of 8. And we don't even talk. Only like, for 30 minutes a week during meeting. It's getting boring. Day in, day out, looking at blocks of flats. Getting dejavu all over. Wondering if you've seen this place, that place, or were you here when you were young or perhaps you've done this place already. Faces, so many of them, heartlanders and all. As I recall this, I feel like vomitting. Everything's swirling in. What headache. Home. Dinner, sleep a little, game a little, blog alot, then planning your exact route for tomorrow(that's one of my secret to cover my area fast). Wake. Game a little. Off to work. Repeat. Look forward to the weekends, when I can sleep peacefully, no planning for tonight, buddies booking out. I was rather against the whole monday blues crap. It's not that crap when you are working. It's really unappealing. I guess I couldn't feel the monday blues thing when I was schooling coz I don't do homework. There's nothing to hand up. Tests, not bothered. Exams either. Everyday feels like the other.

So young, yet many regrets. Few things that I am proud of, nothing much to look forward to.
(God's mocking. I'm on party shuffle mode on iTunes. Current song: Yuki kajiura - To Nowhere. Here's the lyrics anyway.)

-----------------------------------------------------------
Can you hear the calling of the raving wind and water?
We just keep dreaming of the land 'cross the river
We are always on the way to find the place we belong
Wandering to no where, we're paddling
Down the raging sea
Who can cross over such raving wind and water?
On the rolling boat we sit, shivering with coldness
Come by an island, come by a hillock,
It's just another place, we paddle on down the raging sea
But in the morning we'll see the sun
Bright shining morning dew singing
They who will search will find the land
of evergreen
Can you hear the calling of the raving wind and water?
We just keep paddling down the sea, up the river
No destination, but we are together
In the silent sadness we're paddling
Down the raging sea
Down to no where
-----------------------------------------------------------

I can't continue. My head is in pain. Could be the cough. Could be some major illness, cough being one of the symptom.

----------------
later.


notes:
-friend says happy new year, resolutions

TY to sf (judo, not from 36) for this rather unusual lesson :) 

we've got our lefts and rights mixed up(refer to the screenshot above. notice where the 'left' is) 

hmmmmmmmmm. 

roundabout: which car has priority etc. 

asking about the difference in these signs 

still not sure about Y-junction. 

Hmm. Never did I notice so many cars with L on the road before. C:  

Old folks home. 

woods lib. disappointing exhibition. it's surprising that if they hadn't printed the age of the participants there, you would have thought that they were a bunch of kids. well, partially true. from about 12 to 41 of age. 

hm. you can actually bootup from a thumb drive. 

Dopod. Wasn't everyone having the i-YOURNAMEHERE craze? Now it's the YOURNAMEHERE-pod. 

Saw someone glue-sniffing today. Like, hmm. More or less what I expected. Wasn't too keen to pick a fight. 

Being an idiot is when you are looking at the com and chewing into the stalk. disgusting. 

Or when it looks really bad.. 

Fuckedupness is when you walk across 2 estates to survey them and they are closed. 

I have a tendency to fall over these things. I did, here. 

oh here. something sweet. 

My ma refuses to let me ride a bike. Keeps tearing up the flyers on class 2B/2A & 2 licenses.

Uh, it so happened that my pda failed me and I happened to be at the block behind the bus stop where everyone drops off after school (the one leading to the underpass), trying to fix the shit and it so happened that, that (umm. pigeon?) pigeon was with her sister, on bus 105, like 10 minutes away. I kinda like stripped under the void deck(shirt only lah) and changed to my other shirt.

So we went to the Singapore Safety Driving Centre to sign up for the test for basic theory. A short queue, (our number being 563 and they were servicing like 541 at that time). Our test date is scheduled on the 19th. (and someone wants the later shift coz someone cannot wake.)

Filled up the form and all, and there was this eyesight test. No problem for the color test, but so fucked up for the 'E W..' test. I keep seeing the number that's at the bottom right instead of the one in the rows. So paiseh lah. (erh, pigeon can testify to this, she kinda aced it despite having a Severe Pajiao Syndrome.)

We then went popular to buy our guide books and TYS for driving theory, afterwhich, lunch.

And finally someone saw me wearing that gay red shirt in person. shhhhhh. Still tug my bag to look at the dumb slogan behind somemore.

Maybe moving to japan and work isn't bad. And maybe finding someone there would be better. Haha.

I so thought I was going to die yesterday. Couldn't breathe properly.

Oh well, the cough is getting ok, the fever is erratic, it's been exactly a week. I woke at like 8am, cough, and ran to the sink. And out came a huge _chunk_ of phlegm, yellow and big, like a flattened fishball. Gosh, it was so solid that if you poked it it would probably wobble like jelly. Felt better, less itchy, and my cough became 'normal-sounding', though I still cough for abit.

And oh, I don't really understand why sandflies are such assholes. Btw, only females bite, for sandfly too. Okay, you've had your blood, can't you just freaking leave? They seem to have a habit of causing the site of infection (+ a big radius) to become damn hard. What for? What purpose in that? Or is that just immunological response to a bad infection?

karebu, your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!


uhhh. kinda glad. green is something else too. (no, not envy.)

Yesterday was a bad day. First hour of work, and I fell/tripped thrice. uhhh judoka sia.

First fall. Below a HDB. Near the lifts was a slope. And a SMALL kerb. I tripped, and the pda went flying out of the leather carrier. Uhh. Few scratches, but I hope they don't mind. I don't mind buying the whole thing though (at half price).

The second. I was walking along the pavement in a carpark. I just fell off the pavement and out came my mp3 player. Then it went silent. (I know it's rather hard to find your way around here, but you can see abrasion and some bruise. Can you imagine what will happen if I weren't wearing pants?)

Third one. I was thanking the auntie. Then I turned around and fell off the kerb, rather unglamously, like face down. Twisted ankle. Yeah you can see an extra vein on my right ankle.


Conclusion: If you are trained not to fall(so as to score) in judo, you will forget your basics like falling on your back in real life.


-----shit shit shit. i'll caption the rest later. im late. im supposed to meet up with my fren/collegue.-----
---continued 1:15pm-------

This. ASS. Proudly displaying their stuff. What if they don't get it next year?


Damned sandfly bite. I got it from.. some mama shop.


Sometimes I really do wonder what they are thinking about.
Family? Or whether if that day is their last? Or nothing? Just viewing everything that goes by? Perhaps I would know when I reach that age. Perhaps I won't. Won't know, won't reach that age. Perhaps, mayhaps.


This is what it looks like when I'm outside talking on MSN to you guys. So be patient and all, it's kinda tedious if you were to tap each and every key on the virtual keyboard that measures like 2mm by 2mm.


It was raining. And these boys were like dancing some bangla thing. Around a soccer ball?


Whenever I see this, I feel weird. Like, some great unfairness in this world. Sometimes you wonder if you should help or otherwise, because it's like, are they so used to their own world? Do they need help at all? Can they visualize in their head what they perceive using their other 4 senses. Just like not all of us are psychic, what would it feel to have an extra 'organ' that can perceive other things, pick up strange things that we would term paranormal? We do not feel deprived now, do we, us lacking in the _other_ fields of perceptions? Just like the blind.


Thanks to the auntie who directed me to the bus, then the mrt station. I didn't manage to take a photo of her, but this is where we 'parted'.


I stood here everyday for 4 years. Now it's changed. It seems as though it's going to be converted to an underground station. Yea. The heat and all. All the memories.


Went out with tpm. Dinner at fish co. (I think they served something that I was slightly allegic to.

And then kingkong. which was THREE hours. which resulted in an additional thirty bucks. on taxi.



And decorations being taken down.

something at fish n co triggered my asthma or something.

my head is extremely heavy, very hard to breathe and the world is going out soon

i dont think i can wajke tmr, i cant stop coughing until i taste some blood

oh shit im think im quite serious im going to fiant soon

I am extremely keen on repeating JC. I better go look out what private candidates have to study and things like that.
It suddenly seems crucial to secure an academic path, and hence quadruple As.
It seems too late though.


Or, for being so, am I able to think of an alternative way out, even without repeating?
Possible, but not quite likely, not that I have much faith in myself.


Do I really want the academic way out? Would I be happier? I do not think so. I remember how much/hard my mum hits me when I was young to get me to study. I remembered sitting on books to show that sitting on it doesn't make you stupid. Well, I proved it for a couple of years, and maybe it does make me stupid.


Given that you have to be powerful to make people bow down, or even look at you, what must you do? Simple. I will become the very monster I hate.


-more on this later. though the hours are rather flexible, there has to be some integrity still. i need to work.-

Must we be punkish.
Must we be rich.
Must we be special.
Must we be deviant.
Must we be cool.
Must we be jappish.
Must we have blonde hair and blue eyes.
Must we.



argh, i thought i could do something better than that.

too tired. gotta start doing my work in prep for tmr.

Anyway it does feel weird.

It was in sec one when I kinda drifted from my cousin. One's a teen. And the other is a preteen. We used to hang out together, bike around bishan park, have some fun in the holidays when my aunt was alive. Then we stopped talking. No more battling of digimons. No more pokemon either.

And today I went out with my cousin and my aunt(his mom) whom I've not seen in ages. He's taller than me already and again, the same thing happened. Kinda drifted apart. (Yes, he could be reading this blog for all I know, but still, I have to say) It's so weird, when there are no common topics, no longer playing games, there's like nothing to talk about. And hence everyone keeps his distance, seemingly aloof and all.

So what's wrong with males? Or is it that shopping is the thing that binds females together?



------------------------------------------------------
And folks, we'll be seeing wj in one weeks time! Or five days!
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Monday, December 26, 2005 |
| Participants: |
| the great fool (_________@hotmail.com) |
| `? (_________@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[04:53:34 PM] `?: hey bro
[04:53:36 PM] the great fo: sup mate
[04:53:37 PM] `?: im gg in le
[04:53:38 PM] `?: sob sob
[04:53:40 PM] the great fo: HUG
[04:53:42 PM] the great fo: does the
[04:53:42 PM] `?: cya arnd yea
[04:53:44 PM] the great fo: WEIJIE THING
[04:53:49 PM] the great fo: like ydae
[04:53:52 PM] the great fo: when you were buying the bbq
[04:53:57 PM] the great fo: the bbq meal
[04:53:59 PM] `?: ....MMM
[04:54:02 PM] `?: okayyyy
[04:54:03 PM] `?: pt taken
[04:54:05 PM] `?: kk bye
[04:54:07 PM] the great fo: goodbye
[04:54:11 PM] the great fo: hug
[04:54:32 PM] `?: kk bye
[04:54:34 PM] `? has left the conversation.
[04:54:50 PM] * `? is now Offline

Was at the supermarket.

Saw this.

Purple. and it reads pain relief.
I wanted to pick it up and dump it into the basket, but I thought..
"Isn't that some menstrual thing?"
"No idiot, that's panadol."


'Numbing action relieves pain'
"Excellent!"

Blackcurrant.

Maybe I'm not that allergic to berries and maybe I can try for the sake of my throat, but I'm not taking chances.