Thursday, December 27, 2007

I woke up today and something was very wrong. I can only see hues of grey.

Look man. I have one long line running around my calf and I don't even know why. Was I trying to kill myself? Why the hell would I cut my calf anyway?


I cannot remember what I've done. I'm so bad - if you were to take a look at my phone you'd realize how bad it is. I jot every single thing I needed to do each day down into the calendar. (For instance, today: 1830 withdraw cash, 2000 do something you really like, 1835 get a exercise band, 0645 wear contact lenses, 0647 remember to wax and hide your fringe, 2300 Mix music, continue from 1hr31min, 2100 find books that are interesting --- and the list goes on!)


That day I saw a girl who looked at me with the strangest yet most familiar gaze. I could tell that she like me, very very much, and I do, too. However the presence of her companion.. well.. pushed me away.

Frantically I dug up my old phone. It's not exactly functional, having been dropped into water before. In my archives folder on my phone I see saved text messages. But there's no name tagged to the number. I tried calling but it's a dead line. I called up the operators and they simply refused to help me; issues with confidentiality and all. I cannot remember who I dated.

Scrolled through my calendar. It says, 'Get her flowers.' 'Dinner with her parents. 7.15pm' But who? Did I wake up in the middle of the night and noted these down? Did someone meddled with my phone? What happened? Did she call me last week? I can't remember. She should call me right? If we were dating? I don't know. Maybe she would call soon.


I cannot remember who I had lunch with, what I did the day before but I can remember some things - I know what I want to do. However there's a huge problem - because I planned for two.


I think some day I may remember, in time I will if I don't try and if I focus on the positive.

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