Do you want a way out?

Yes, please.

How about a way in?

I don't mind that.

So long I can go somewhere, anywhere.


"But what exactly are you running away from?" asked the eraser dust on my desk.

"I.."

"Speak!"

On the floor it was swirling and swirling like a mini hurricane. I started tearing with all the dust billowing. I couldn't see. And suddenly something huge hurtle itself at me. It was the eraser, whole again.

"Speak!"

"Ouch! I guess I want to.."

There was a bright flash.


Rolling about inside her giant purple bag. Amongst her wallet. Pencil case. Napkins. Lecture notes. I fumbled around for my phone. -I need the backlight.. light .. light!-


I slid the switch. And all lights went out.


She whispered, "What are you doing? Stop stoning. Study hard. You can do it. Do it for me. Do it for us. Our future."

I remained motionless. "Shhhh. The enemy can hear us. Don't move!"

"CONTACTED! ENEMY TWO O'CLOCK! PRONE!"
prrk. prrrrk. prk. paarack.

I was hit. I looked down at my torso. There was a hole on my left side.

"Hello? Are you real?" I shouted down the hole. "real .. real .. real .. eal .. al. . " It is! I could hear echoes reverberating away. It is real! I'm finally a real boy! Steven Spielberg made me real! Mummy will love me finally!


"Come back," she cooed. "You're not done revising the law of conservation of momentum. There's a test tomorrow." And I proved her wrong. So wrong

-in and out and in and out and in and out. in and out-

"See! I'm definitely acing it!"
She arched her back slightly and purred.


"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT! PLEASE KILL ME!"

The eraser laughed. "I would prefer to see you writhing in agony. Here. Have the apple of wisdom so that you may live forever in eternal damnation."

"Please. Almighty eraser. Have mercy. Just erase some of my memories. Make me twelve again."

"But for that I would have to take your.."

"You can have my heart." I can't love anyway. Shoot! Where's my heart? In the gaping cavity there was nothing. Oh damm oh damn oh damn. I forgot I lost it long ago.





So I sat there weeping, tormented by memories.




Perhaps I should run a blade across my wrist. Perhaps both. Does it matter to anyone? You don't know me, do you? The thought of it quells my heart, little by a little. I was living in lunacy, slashing my wrists. Horizontally. Downwards. Diagonally! Carving little hearts on my skin. They weren't perfectly shaped. But they were red. Fuck that. Again! So I scraped off the skin layer by layer. And I dug deeper. Finally a clean slate for me to work on. It was bone-white. Perfect.

I realized I forgot what I wanted to chisel onto my bone. Was it her name?




But what was her name?




Each night her ghost would come to my bed.

You love me don't you?
Of course I do!
But what didn't you hold my hand? Why didn't you confess your love?
I.. I didn't dare to. I thought you didn't like me. I was thinking perhaps I could find a right time and ..
Lies lies!
You know I saw you with another guy.
I was trying to spike you. And you said nothing!
What was I to say?
I don't want to listen to your excuses! I want you to comfort me!


I was distraught. I couldn't sleep.


And two years went by. Till that day a Taoist Master saw me. He gave me a red packet. He told me, "Burn the tailsman inside and drink the ashes."


I burned it once I reached home but there were no ashes. Only a wisp of smoke. The smoke slowly but surely, took on a form. It was the face of a damsel.

She said,"
What have been lost are lost. Brood no more.

Go out and live your life to the fullest. Tell the ones you love how much you love them.

Abandon your bad habits. There shall be no more time wasted on the incessant chatter, idle thoughts and so forth.

Here, let me give you a new heart so that you'll be brave in everything you do. You will never be lost with this heart. Listen to your heart and trust yourself."









You try to scream but nothing comes out from your mouth.