fucking tired. mentally drained. these few days i would fall asleep way before 10pm, waking up only the next morning.


now i really dread being at the bottom of this food chain.

it's scary when monsters confess that their fellow beasts cannot do their work well, hence they have to rely on us slaves. but the funny thing is we are doing nothing productive at all. nothing challenging. just very troublesome and redundant.

doing work that monsters can't be bothered to do themselves. simple things like making a phone call. they would even ring you up and ask you to call on their behalf despite your cubicle being just 3 metres away. emails making zero sense. "Pls give the person to attention to check number. Tks." asking you to do totally nonsensical things that would definitely seem retarded to anyone with IQ >10. giving the prep-talk hoping that slaves would be motivated to help-out much more willingly when monsters themselves can't give a fuck about their own feeding bowl.

the grass looks much greener over the other side. having to sweat and chiong everyday. working out. keeping fit. or at least doing rounds and making arrests outside (in my context).




really have the feeling i won't be able to turn the table around even in the future outside of this dreadful place. on the bright side i'm thankful for being given a preview of a typical workplace in the outside world.


i'm sure i'm going to hate myself in the future if i remain like this. in need of some serious help.