I don't know how I manage to do it when I was schooling. Maybe schooling was shorter. Much shorter. And you know for sure what time you would be going home etc. There's also more fun.
Waking up at 0630 everyday. Having to get changed and computer fired up by 0730. Work. Repetition. More repetition. Loaning out of stores. Data entry. Bookings to be made. Dispatch. Conference reports. Monitor people. Get tasked to do random, stupid things by superiors. Politics. etc.
What time the day ends is never definite. Earliest 1730. Latest - there isn't one. A stay-in maybe. For instance. I only got home after eight today.
Four hundred and thirty four days to go. And I have no idea how am I going to get over them.
I'm still not changed yet. Maybe getting fatter.
I want to change.
I find it really amazing that people can get so focused. Goal-oriented. "I must do this, this and this." Don't they have any distractions or stray thoughts? If only I was as robotic as those people.
Change.
Why's there a need for change? Honestly speaking. I'm feeling quite comfy and relaxed doing mundane stuff. But this simply feels wrong. I'm not the practical kind. So it doesn't make sense to 'get a good job'. It doesn't make sense to do work so that life would be more 'meaningful'. It does make a little sense that experiences would better a person.
Do it for pride?
For ego?
So that you can get money?
So that you can laugh at people?
No.
Coz we must find things to do?
Work is good?
Work helps us to become better?
For what?
Okay, so I do it for my girlfriend.
But for what?
Why does she want me to do so?
Does it go back to practicality again?
This is just how life functions?
What if we have free flow cash? Would anyone study?
For knowledge?
You can't carry it to your grave mate.
To kill time?
To make yourself believe that you are better than people who didn't/couldn't study?
Hoping that you reach zen suddenly when you are studying?
So that you can do whatever you want if you can get a good job?
Why not just buy the lottery?
Why not just smuggle some crack?
Why not just quit since you can't seem to start studying anyway?
Why am I so half-hearted in this?
Why am I such a rebel?
Enlighten me.
Waking up at 0630 everyday. Having to get changed and computer fired up by 0730. Work. Repetition. More repetition. Loaning out of stores. Data entry. Bookings to be made. Dispatch. Conference reports. Monitor people. Get tasked to do random, stupid things by superiors. Politics. etc.
What time the day ends is never definite. Earliest 1730. Latest - there isn't one. A stay-in maybe. For instance. I only got home after eight today.
Four hundred and thirty four days to go. And I have no idea how am I going to get over them.
I'm still not changed yet. Maybe getting fatter.
I want to change.
I find it really amazing that people can get so focused. Goal-oriented. "I must do this, this and this." Don't they have any distractions or stray thoughts? If only I was as robotic as those people.
Change.
Why's there a need for change? Honestly speaking. I'm feeling quite comfy and relaxed doing mundane stuff. But this simply feels wrong. I'm not the practical kind. So it doesn't make sense to 'get a good job'. It doesn't make sense to do work so that life would be more 'meaningful'. It does make a little sense that experiences would better a person.
Do it for pride?
For ego?
So that you can get money?
So that you can laugh at people?
No.
Coz we must find things to do?
Work is good?
Work helps us to become better?
For what?
Okay, so I do it for my girlfriend.
But for what?
Why does she want me to do so?
Does it go back to practicality again?
This is just how life functions?
What if we have free flow cash? Would anyone study?
For knowledge?
You can't carry it to your grave mate.
To kill time?
To make yourself believe that you are better than people who didn't/couldn't study?
Hoping that you reach zen suddenly when you are studying?
So that you can do whatever you want if you can get a good job?
Why not just buy the lottery?
Why not just smuggle some crack?
Why not just quit since you can't seem to start studying anyway?
Why am I so half-hearted in this?
Why am I such a rebel?
Enlighten me.
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