i don't buy "what they can do i can also do." i don't believe in that. i'm trying to get a grip. but it's really hard to when you feel as though you limbs aren't yours. as though you are nested right smack in the middle of the head and wow, you are actually controlling a body. or your body as most would like to call it. i don't even know much about this body, not to mention myself. i feel alienated from myself. why why why. i've given up asking that. no point in doing so. pleads for help go unheard. at the end of the day you realize you can't do anything. helpless. wishing, praying, hoping for them all to go away.