I finally found a workaround!

Finally able to blog using the com in camp.


hmm. Relatively, life is quite good here. I mean, how many people get to use computers, internet, while serving their sentence here? I just hope this privilege doesn't get 'potong-ed'. And btw, my 'mud' slang is getting better. Just wait till you listen to me talk! Haha.

While typing away here I'm really paranoid about my passwords being stolen .. afterall, these are shared computers. You wouldn't know if someone installed a keylogger or something.

Life kinda resumes to normal when after a day of work I sit down in front of a computer, log on to msn(this is sad coz hardly anyone's online from 7-9pm, any later than that I've got to go washup and call people and get ready to sleep. Lights out at 10pm.), surf my favourite sites minus my music. Still. I wanna go home.

We have mainly lectures and are mostly interesting, either that or you have interesting/funny 'lecturers'. Time passes reasonably fast - a sign that I'm enjoying it(my.sentence) somewhat, but I WANNA GO HOME. sigh. Oh yeah. I still sleep in lectures.


Reflections? I don't know. I've got lots of time to do reflections. We've got like standing parades (literally) and basically you stone out. I think I shouldn't think much. Am enjoying three books I have in my cabinet actually. Don't wanna think. No point.


I sound pretty much incoherent. Random bits here and there. And that's exactly what I am/how I am now. Bits and pieces everywhere. My thoughts too. Scattered but I'm not exactly concerned about gathering them back. I'm lost.

Shrug.




Added: 7.50PM
HMMM. I just realized that it's actually a blessing to have long admin time and not being able to go home! HMM. HMM.

I believe in karma/dharma. And luck has seriously been down nowadays. I could only think of one reason - my library fines.

Anyway I bought a cashcard to pay my library fines (just to add; I wasn't given the option of picking the design of the card.). Realized that the ID i'm carrying now, (supposedly a smartcard,) doesn't function as cashcard.

Isn't it weird? A girl and a sunflower. And it seems kinda weird? ghastly?


Blur shot. My hands were trembling quite a bit even when I rested my elbows on the table to take this photo.

i think i can snap out of this. it's the medicine that's preventing me from thinking straight. after some time i'll probably laugh them off.

=)

i'm so weak. mentally. so weak. so weak that i don't bother correcting myself, accepting lies as truth.

i don't buy "what they can do i can also do." i don't believe in that. i'm trying to get a grip. but it's really hard to when you feel as though you limbs aren't yours. as though you are nested right smack in the middle of the head and wow, you are actually controlling a body. or your body as most would like to call it. i don't even know much about this body, not to mention myself. i feel alienated from myself. why why why. i've given up asking that. no point in doing so. pleads for help go unheard. at the end of the day you realize you can't do anything. helpless. wishing, praying, hoping for them all to go away.

I'm getting weird.

I seriously dislike the idea of going back into camp. Wanna cry.

I can't get out of this shit. Unless I get sent to IMH.

This is like ?

Quite bad. I'm taking 6 kinds of medicine and my fingers are trembling like hell.





When the mind gets weak the body is even more frail.





I'm feeling super horrid. Horrid even when I sit in the air-con-ed LT for a good majority of the time there for lessons. Horrid even when we are given good food. Horrid when there's ample time to rest, wash up and change. So now I'm wondering about the detainees in the cell. They must be thinking of the world outside. Their parents. Loved ones. How fucked up this is. I would cry all day and night if I were them.

sigh.

fucking hell.

It's seriously boring. It made me realized I actually like to get physical(minus the sweating part).

The below-mentioned is EXACTLY what we do EVERY morning.


--------------------------------------


At around 0513 every morning the dogs will start barking. Some will howl.

We fall in at 0530 and people usually come down late.

A sgt will then come down, tendency of being 10 mins late - 80%.

We arrange bottles in half-section level.

5BX with run around the parade square will start.

Collect our pass and head straight to cookhouse in singlet.

Queue would be short - there's like no one in the entire complex except for us, about 60 men.

Head back and do area cleaning till about 0745.

Lecture.

5 mins break.

Lecture.

Lunch

Break.

Lecture.

5 mins break.

Lecture

5 mins break.

Lecture

Dinner

Break.

Test.

Debrief.

Head back to bunk.

Wash, brush.

Lights out 2200.

Sleep.

Week 1:

23jun:2251: Down w/ flu, sl. fever, cough, sl. asthma but nt allowed 2 go back. Had intro 2 police dogs, handcuffs lesson n pract-painful. Feelin sl. down still..
22jun:2233: Sigh. I really dont mind pickin dog poop so long i can go home. Big phobia of getting into the 1month drill course..
22jun:2220: Learning to write police report is serious boring. I dont understand how ppl just dont get it. Anyway i still have yet to get over..
22jun:0946: Ran wrong route for 2.4 coz the first guy followed the wrong marshal. Fail and have to stay back. First shower cubicle the soap holder is broken. Second too, faucet spoilt. Sigh.
22jun:0944: Super down on my luck. Feel like crying. Ran out of luck for A levels. Thats one. Over here shit happens in huge clumps.
21jun:2146: Im going to die man. 2008 seriously sounds fucking far away. As though im in the 80s and you are talking about year 3000. Fuck.
21jun06:2014: I seriously feel more and more down. I feel like shit. Absolute shit. Not even 3 months into service and it seems that im breaking down already.
21jun:0929: Anyway its damn sad that 98.7 and symphony are the only stations that are clear enough to take a listen.
21jun:0909: I just found out what i really like. Exercise. Had orientation run this morning and i felt so much better. Back to more lectures later. Anyway i decided not to quit. I wanna be dog trainer please.
20jun06:2114: Same thing today. Boring. They are giving us a chance to opt out of course. I wonder if i should. I would probably be posted to some siong unit. Its hard to downgrade yea.
20jun06:0639: I thought we have sucky lives. And the dogs wake up at 5. Theres this 50m radius of dog stench too.
2155: Cant use phone after lights out at ten, unlike previously. Seriously wish for 17aug to come by fast. Dude, this is day one btw.
2117: Oh ya. Just to add, we have to cut hair still. And we can see hdbs across the road. So close yet so far. Feeling worse than ever not to mention everyones rather quiet.
19jun:2109: Damn fucked up. No diff from recruits. Not allowed to charge phones, no canteen breaks, stand by area, basically same shits over again, minus PT part. Sigh. Damn boring.
16jun06:1230: Damn boring! Everyones so quiet and most ppl here fail their ippt. Bunk is on fifth floor, can hear the dogs barking away like mad in the buildg bside us. Sigh..

=D

Haha. Looked through the photos. Amazing how thought-inducing/emotion-provoking this activity is. Nostalgia.


I'm seriously lost for words. Just .. wow.


I just wanna say thank you. I have no idea who it goes out to. Probably everyone.




PS: I've got to confess that I'm rather amazed amused by my weirdass fringe and hair. Geez. I'm going to have a fringe still when my hair gets longer, but a short one. And I'm definitely going to trim the sides.

I'm so in love with canon's advertisements! Especially their camcorders ad.

Hokay!

Now you guys should see the 'blackboard'. If you don't, press F5 to refresh the page.

This blackboard has 2 main purposes.
-Mobile blogging
-Random notes


Now just visit this blog for both mobile and regular blogging.


The mobile blog over at diaryland is no longer in use. You may still visit it though I wouldn't really update it.


----------------------------------------------------
E.g:
18jun06 (1454): This is a test. Should work. =e
Date (timestamp in 24hrs): Some-text-goes-here.

Sometimes karebu gets bored.

karebu tries to shit but nothing comes out.

Sometimes his hands get really itchy.


And sometimes it gets costly.




I just cut and stripped my ipod headphones with the intention of reconnecting them back later after I've taken a look and now what.. four wires and none of them seem to be copper wires?

Hey baby,

我是警察。
(wo shi jin cha.)

Surely you remember this..
It ensnares you and you cannot break free.
Time has no meaning when you are lost in ecstasy.
You can always quit whenever you want.
It doesn't matter if you will regret later.
Rather, it doesn't matter if you already regret it.
As we cling to our own desires,
the addiction depends on you.

Been feeling super wtf the whole day. Or week even. Back to my same old habits. Music playing away. Surfing around for interesting reads. Checking threads on forums.

Thinking about the same things that never seem to go away.

Same thoughts, same actions, same cycle, everyday.

Getting irritated by myself.

Getting impatient.

Having no idea what's going to happen.

Uncertain about the future.

I feel like a walking zombie.



I don't think I should idle. My mind tends to wander.


wtf. I wanna snap out of this.



10.54PM
I'm super wide-eyed and frowning. wth.

.the half-life of lime jello.nuclear bedtime story...crazy
customizable..programmer's head on a stick....frictionless, massless
mormon...put it in your report, bill.i don't need the influence..i'm
coming out of the booth.in the middle of a storm....it tantalizes me
so.you are my favorite thing...i leave the windows open....and fed
you to the chickens.candy corn chicken fetus....the silhouette of a
dog.guns exploding all around...a rising column of smoke....you don't
jump like a monkey....i have to call chuck....rebel boat rocker...
colostomy bag...walking in memphis..exploding midget....white cotton
panties....nub technology..anonymous nub...more bunny justice..evil
evil boy...you have been a fool....do not send me porn.i must escape
it....those creamy white thighs...keeping us all cool.air
conditioning....so what if I sweat..fresh air is so sweet...live mice
sit on us.digital squirrel....liquid banana...peas and hominy.
miscellaneous...gravity assist..random tuna head....some quick goat
thinking....a velvet codpiece...let's tease the weasels. nice
vomiting spell.a specific dick.the growing yodas.

Zero demerit points on circuit.


And marked like hell on road.





The things that don't make sense.

Damn. I got the same tester as my friend. This fucker will purposely NOT put on seat belt and ask you to move off. Thanks for the tip - I was on guard and the fucker did the same thing, no seatbelt, and so I told him to put on his dumb seat belt. My friend didn't notice that, moved off, and was failed on the spot. 1 minute into the test.

For circuit I got ZERO demerit points. Think I pissed him off. I would like to believe he likes to fail people. And so I was awarded a whopping 36 demerit points on the road. Thanks.


26. Veer off Course - 4 (???)
28. Fail to slow down when approaching road hazards - 6 (I did, but it's his call anyway.)
30. Change lane abruptly - 4 X 2 (This is genuinely my fault.)
41. Cause other vehicles to slow down or take evasive action - 8
(eh fucker, people are giving way to me. They know I'm taking the test.)
43. Incorrect positioning - 2 (He wants me to stop CLOSER to the stop line. Each time I stopped I was about 50cm away from the line. He wants it to be ON the line.)
45. Improper turning, Wide turn - 2
57. Incorrect braking, Late - 2 X 2 (I only stopped late once and he ticked 3 boxes.)


I seriously think he marked randomly. He didn't touch the checklist AT ALL in the car. And when the test ended he told me to go up first. I figured he was marking randomly on the paper or something.


sigh.

and karma too. If the karma thing is really true, I'm supposed to pass only on the third attempt.



On the slightly brighter side,
-The next time when I get my license, I'll be a damn safe driver. And much more skilled too.
-I'm saving the maintenance and miscellaneous fees on car now that I don't even have my own ride.
-I can finally concentrate on something else more pressing at the moment.

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into His sixth day of working
overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on
this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen My spec sheet on her? She has to be
completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts,all
replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can
hold four children at one time,have a kiss that can cure anything from a
scraped knee to a broken heart -- and she will do everything with only two
hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And
that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day.Wait
until tomorrow to finish."
"But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this Creation
that is so close to My own heart. She already heals herself when she is
sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have Made her so
soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made Her tough. You have
no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only
will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the Woman's
cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that
you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a Tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her
pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief And her
pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of Everything!
Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!! Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love
and joy. They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better
solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can help to heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about
you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning!
They bring joy and hope.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

However if there's one flaw in women, it is that they tend to forget their
worth.

I found the phone that meets my criteria.

expandable memory slot, mp3, j2me, bluetooth, gprs, no camera.. blah blah..



sony ericsson m600i.


the only problem is, it's not out yet.


.. ..

I was wondering if the Old Rafflesians' Association visa card gives rebates on petrol. Realized that they made a few amendments.

You can't apply for debit cards anymore. gah. Contemplated back then and now it's gone. Also, application for visa cards are only allowed for 'Life members'.

I want my fringe back!!

I'm waiting for Creative to get whacked harder by Apple. I need to buy another mp3 player. I broke yet another headset right? If I were to go buy another one it would cost around $50-$90. Might as well buy a brand new mp3 player, right? Like buy a shuffle for the headphones. The thing I dislike about pods is that it's quite hard to find some sort of external and portable power supply. I mean, battery pack.


I'm thinking of jogging later. It's raining now. And I still think my luck is rather low.

All time low man. I'm running out of luck.

Guess what? I accidentally cancelled my traffic police test next week. Managed to get the staff to get it back for me. If not I've got to wait till september.



arghhh. karoushi.



Come on. Hit me. yea. harder.

I've not sworn in my previous posts. Normally I would have.

I thought I did the right thing by not drinking alcohol before I sleep. Feeling produ that I drank plain water instead. Now I can't sleep at all.




What the?

What the hey. I just broke my headset. Walked into the door again. Just like the other time.

One thing after another.



Sigh. Thank you, dude up there.



I'm damn tired.

I don't know to cry or to laugh or to get angry.

My student ez-link card has been retained for some cocked-up reason. I wanted a transfer from the student card to the ns card and guess what? It's not possible to transfer and I got a refund instead. And that was without warning. No I'm not talking about the small print behind the card. No verbal warning.

So my student ez-link card has been retained. And the ONLY way out is to call the hotline up tomorrow and hopefully some operator can find a workaround or be very understanding.




And I'm a super super sentimental person.




It's been affirmed today.


Yet again.







On the slightly brighter side, I really have to learn to let go of things and not be afraid to lose things that are rather dear to me.


I really don't know to cry or to be happy.

zen sia.

tan lotion ad.

I think that motion was computer generated. haha. Can't figure out how to do that.

Now hold your breath people.















I'm going to show everyone my bird.















It's kinda furry.















Somewhat yellow.















About six inches from head to tail.






















=)





Anyway.

Here's another dumb ad.



I'm going back to the island. To sleep. And then to do a 10 minutes obstacle course. And I'll be back tomorrow. Afternoon. Evening latest.

fucking turned off.

one officer told me I need not take standard obstacle course yesterday.

and today another told me I have to take no matter what happens.


So I've got to book in tomorrow, sleep in, wake, and do a ten minutes obstacle course and go home.



knn.

Terribly sorry. Battery died. I brought in only one. gah.

No surprises left in the bag for me.

I've passed both selection tests, so in about 3 weeks time, I should be either a po li ce or a clo se com bat inst ruct or.


24km march was boring. Seriously. I did a small 'survey'. In short, what I found out was that, once your build is of a certain 'stature', you are immune to route marches. Can't feel the pack - the whole thing feels very much like a long stroll in the park.