Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Must have caught a cold. Slept early. Woke at 2 or so. Showered. Now I can't get back to sleep. Slightly feverish


Some folks make decisions and
some folks clean the street.

These are people/things that left their mark in me.
-The man who shouts, "currypuff ayam" from street to street. He starts his route from geylang. Bypasses woodlands.
-The man that cleans cars in the car park late at night. Leaving one wiper up to indicate his job done.
-The cleaners that clean at 5.30AM in the estate, and disappear before 6. The sound of them sweeping, raking.
-The policemen that would drive their car up to the kerb and card me whenever I hang out at weird hours.
-The workers squatting under the tree at 3.30AM by the road waiting to be picked up.
-The yellow coal-powered train with bright headlights that runs on the MRT track at about 3AM. It does servicing.
-The elderly men who jog at 5AM.
-Getting frightened and scaring the shit out of another teenager who chose to walk in unlit areas, late at night.
(Now you see why I love the night. Not to mention that everyone's asleep, the night peaceful.)


I'm wondering if it's wrong to want. Achievements. Material. Especially so when life is so hard for some people here on Earth. Some never saw light. Died in the womb. Some mutated. Others, retarded. And quite a few ran into accidents along the way.

"What the fuck does that have to do with me? That's their problem."

Crudely put, that's true. Though personally it feels wrong. The guilt of being normal. Yeah, if you put it that way, who gives a fuck if you don't have a happy family. Who gives a fuck if you don't have a boy/girlfriend. Who gives a fuck if you can't buy your ipod or some other shit. You are alive you know. In one functional piece.

There isn't really an answer that I know, but isn't it weird that we all know but we keep things at the back of our heads just to get things going?



I'm going to try to sleep.

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