It does feel ages ago. The last time I drove it was on 23rd last month. Only ten days ago and it felt so long. I'm driving again tomorrow. One last time before I enlist. Trying not lose touch of the wheel. Traffic Police test on 14 june. Must make a note on booking more refresher lessons when NS life has stabilized for me.
I'm having second thoughts about doing some reflective blogging. It seems so cliche that everyone's doing it. Doing predictable things. There's nothing new. Nothing fresh. Actions. Thoughts. Words.
Still quite turned off by msn nicknames. They induce this haven't-I-seen-this-kind-of -nicks-like-years-ago feeling. People don't seem to change. Nothing seems to move. Except for new faces coming in. Fucking up more things one can possibly fuck up. I would love to list down all the nicknames in question down here but I fear I'll tread on toes again.
I would ask myself, "Need things be changed?" "Can't things stay the way they are?" To top that, personally, I've not changed much. Mindsets. Habits. They don't change. Other than the length of my leg hair.
But, what's wrong with them being them? Is it only right to be cold. To have no voice. To be uniform. To have none of those attention-seeking or self-pitying or lovesick nicknames. It would be so wrong to make people conform to karebian ideals.
I think there's something very wrong with me. I would love to change myself. I hope I can get it done within the next 2 years. I would like to accept people for who they are, myself included. Paradoxical isn't it?
Speaking of which. NS. Haven't got much thoughts about that, but I think I'm going to abandon my chat-on-msn-in-army activity. I want to try to be more normal-er. Blogging will still be ongoing over at diaryland. If I don't do that, I'll still keep a pen and paper diary anyway so why not.
I'm probably going to cry in NS. Not sure if that makes me a wuss, but I'm rather susceptible to emotions. Almost every movie makes me cry. Like I just did. I watched V for Vendetta. That doesn't mean I'm going to drop my rifle and sit there and cry. I can seriously imagine myself crying in trenches during war but still taking down enemy soldiers. They say - Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears. Does crying equate fear in this case? Is it alright to cry? What's wrong with crying? (Ironically, on saying this, the strange fact is that most of the times things don't happen as one would expect them to.)
Preparations for NS? Inventorially, yes. Physically? Not so. I'm still 80kg. As fat. Didn't attempt to run/jog more than I would normally do. Didn't go on a last minute crazy diet. Mentally. More or less.
Three days to go. Haha. I'm going to try to dig some questions. Resurfacing them. I'm going to keep myself mentally occupied during the next 2 years.
Say, isn't it odd that I hate conventional behaviors and now I'm counting down to NS?
I'm having second thoughts about doing some reflective blogging. It seems so cliche that everyone's doing it. Doing predictable things. There's nothing new. Nothing fresh. Actions. Thoughts. Words.
Still quite turned off by msn nicknames. They induce this haven't-I-seen-this-kind-of -nicks-like-years-ago feeling. People don't seem to change. Nothing seems to move. Except for new faces coming in. Fucking up more things one can possibly fuck up. I would love to list down all the nicknames in question down here but I fear I'll tread on toes again.
I would ask myself, "Need things be changed?" "Can't things stay the way they are?" To top that, personally, I've not changed much. Mindsets. Habits. They don't change. Other than the length of my leg hair.
But, what's wrong with them being them? Is it only right to be cold. To have no voice. To be uniform. To have none of those attention-seeking or self-pitying or lovesick nicknames. It would be so wrong to make people conform to karebian ideals.
I think there's something very wrong with me. I would love to change myself. I hope I can get it done within the next 2 years. I would like to accept people for who they are, myself included. Paradoxical isn't it?
Speaking of which. NS. Haven't got much thoughts about that, but I think I'm going to abandon my chat-on-msn-in-army activity. I want to try to be more normal-er. Blogging will still be ongoing over at diaryland. If I don't do that, I'll still keep a pen and paper diary anyway so why not.
I'm probably going to cry in NS. Not sure if that makes me a wuss, but I'm rather susceptible to emotions. Almost every movie makes me cry. Like I just did. I watched V for Vendetta. That doesn't mean I'm going to drop my rifle and sit there and cry. I can seriously imagine myself crying in trenches during war but still taking down enemy soldiers. They say - Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act despite our fears. Does crying equate fear in this case? Is it alright to cry? What's wrong with crying? (Ironically, on saying this, the strange fact is that most of the times things don't happen as one would expect them to.)
Preparations for NS? Inventorially, yes. Physically? Not so. I'm still 80kg. As fat. Didn't attempt to run/jog more than I would normally do. Didn't go on a last minute crazy diet. Mentally. More or less.
Three days to go. Haha. I'm going to try to dig some questions. Resurfacing them. I'm going to keep myself mentally occupied during the next 2 years.
Say, isn't it odd that I hate conventional behaviors and now I'm counting down to NS?
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