I'm getting upset man.

Are all gamers, rather, most, 98%, made up of uncult people? Yes it's true. How many times have I(or you if you game as much as I do) seen people who simply kills/irritates the other player for fun and laughs about it? Many. In fact it's so commonplace. One can easily relate it to gangfight.

//45mins of digression. I was looking at other sites.
4.12PM

..relate that to gangfight, using brawn(or magic) and killing each other. Yelling, "n00b, u g0tz pawns l0l0l." Fucking lame. So why is it that they don't think likewise?

And for quite a while I thought it was so. At least, a few months in secondary 2. In crude Chinese they call it ' gou gai bu liao chi da bian ', literally means that a dog cannot stop eating shit. And hence he went back to gaming.

//digression again. I was looking at crow culling.
//4.20pm

Being trapped in the cyberworld really warps your mindset. Your view is so limited. And the focus is totally off. This can be proven by the fact that I actually thought the most people are using firefox. Not true. It's just that people who play games like I do, surf net like I do, think like me, have the same habits as me. Basically, you can trick yourself into believing by reaffirming yours make-beliefs. By verifying with your friends. (not quite making sense here) They all would probably do the same and think the same as you. Why else are you people hanging out?

I feel a lot better suddenly. (Except for the strange constriction in my chest. The cough seems to have been suppressed though.) A lot better not just physically, but psychologically(?). I feel. Relieved somewhat. Cant explain this.

I'm a freaking moron. Was raining. I stuck my hand out of the window in the rain on purpose and waited for lightning. I tried to ground myself but heck, lightning did come within 20 seconds. I jumped back. Haha.

Second thought. How many people are there in the world who are looking at the same page as I am at now?

And also, I have been looking at people expressing their views, and somehow I'm at ease after looking, reading at them all. One example would be Mr Wang.

It's normal to see people wanting this and that. There's nothing wrong with them. It's normal also not to want to be like them. There's nothing wrong with you either. Do the right thing. And just be yourself.

If they have to study, let them be. If you don't want to, then make sure you don't regret and don't. There is no need to try to be normal because no one's exactly normal. There isn't a benchmark for normal either. The normal freestyle timing for olympians is around 22 seconds. The normal timing of a person swimming leisurely is anything from 45 seconds to 2 minutes.

No doubt you will draw attention around the wrong people for your deeds, you still can't pretend to be someone else. Just be yourself. It's hard not to be affected by others. Or perhaps it makes sense only to stick to convention? You are a weird ass. No you aren't. You are expendable. There are millions who are like you out there. Just as you thought your sec sch classmate was weird case, you found another one in cj and you don't even know him. And there you have it, similar weird cases with people as old as us, in this small island. Millions of other towns out that buddy.

So we don't have to stick to convention nor do we have to try to be different. Just be yourself and stay happy or stay okay at least. But the sad thing is not everyone thinks like this. And you are still affected by others, their views.

(I'm feeling down as I think more and more about this. I'm off.)



Of course, it's easy to say this now that I'm alone at home blogging in front of the computer.