so why wouldnt you grow up?
the same excuses. and u are lazy.
grow up please grow up.
it's a damn waste if you slack your a levels through again.
it's a freaking damn waste. the conselor said it.
it does make sense doesn't it.
you feel fearful. but you are fighting back.
but why?
what do you need?
it's a damn waste a damn waste..
it's too late already. you yourself know that you have to start way before this to secure your grades.
now what. everyone's laughing.
you tell yourself you don't care. but you do.
at the same time you feel stupid if you are doing it just to show others you can.
that's dumb.
it's a freaking damn waste.
discipline problem. sigh.
god can't motivate you. you've read the book already.
you've read many in fact.
and in fact, you know what to do, just that you are not willing to make a change.
it's so comfortable sitting in front of your computer
and so comfortable to listen to music and stone.
it's so comfortable not doing your work, not revising.
stoning and wasting time is much more easier than all that.
so much for a bunch of nothing.
they said, "i don't wanna waste 2 years of shit, that's why i'm fighting hard."
you can't be bothered. you think they are dumb asses. so easily motivated.
what would they have given if they were you? "i don't wanna waste 12 years of shit! i would kill not to waste it!"
are they really dumb. or are you the dumb one that everyone's laughing at?
you are.
because anything out of the box is not accepted.
come back to earth.
get practical. get rebellious.
no. you subconsciously want to be different.
and yet you look down on those ahbengs and lians who tattoo and pierce themselves.
but is that stupid or what. later.
you fear losing. and you have lost. and hence you refuse to stand up.
don't they say the true test of a man is when he is at the bottom and not at the top.
you aren't willing to take the test again. you know you can. but you are lazy.
just like ragnarokonline. you aren't willing to change class when you hit 99. you hate redoing things all over again.
would like be alot better if you were much simpler.
got beaten, buck up, work hard, fight hard and win.
that doesn't seem at all exciting.
isn't everyone thinking like that.
how boring. how brainless.
isn't there any other way to put it nicely so that you might try to play with them again, beating idiots in their little games?
yeah. what excuses. show them what you can do. erh. don't waste. your time, capabilities and shit. don't disappoint people who believe in you.
yeah. as though everyone's not living for themselves.
you are nothing but a beggar in fine clothes.
and the chinese proverb says paper cannot trap fire for an eternity.
you jolly well know that if you don't do something your paper will burn eventually.
don't you just hate youself?
no.
there's nothing to hate.
it's just choice.
my choice. and im accountable.
but feeling so miserable because i live to please others but somehow i don't like others.
do you really live to please others?
yeah. doesn't everyone else? how many people actually live for themselves?
would you bother to dress up or even wear anything if there weren't anyone else around?
you hate others, but yet you get recognition from them. irony of it all.
seriously this is a wrong time to think of these things. if you thought of these only after you graduated and all everything would be fine. god damn fine.
people care if you are a rocket scientist converted to pastor.
but no one cares if you were a freaking sweeper who went for night studies, constant upgrades and after much bootlicking you are a CEO.
there's an easier way out! suicide!
i would have done that if i had not discovered about spirituality and all.
but suiciding, god will send me back on earth as a cockroach or something else. maybe a mentally retarded person or someone with disabilities.
speaking of which, don't they always feature disabled persons on tv who fight so hard and finally made a name for themselves?
to me, that's nothing to be proud of. it's because they are so different, they don't have anything else to do, and they are aware, very aware of their disabilites themselves, and hence they are determined to prove others what they can do.
that's silly. very silly to me. if i dare you to take drugs, would you?
no. i don't do what people dare me to. why should i?
wouldn't i be scoring if everyone challenged me and said i bet you can't score.
yeah. i would.
i would if i had that simple mindset. but sorry, i don't have pea brain.
you can't always provoke me and expect me to fight back. i piss you off by not reacting.
it's the reaction that you want. and i simply won't give it to you.
yeah defiance. rebellious. everything.
so you think you are puritan.
no you aren't. you aren't. you know it.
you are lazy. that's all. and you are overconfident.




argh. i'm lazy to type anymore.