Because I am nothing but illusions. Just illusions. I have nothing. I am nothing.

I hate myself.

I want to get out, but I can't. It isn't like you can choose. It's karma I suppose. Maybe I am supposed to learn to deal with this. Maybe. But I don't. I escape. And I've punished myself already. You know it.

What can I trade to atone for all these?

This isn't a choice that I can make. Maybe it is. But. It frightens me to reveal my true self.

True enough, there will always be people worse of and all. But hey, the glass is half empty. I am lost.

I hate myself.