Several things on my mind right now. This is day 15 of the year. I think I would love to number off every day I have. New habit. xD
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I just came back from judo training and it's quite bad lah. ah. Yeah. For two weeks in a row I get knocked out. Wind get knocked out. Very bad. It doesn't happen to anyone normally. I get thrown by Chin Hua(training partner) and bang! My whole body is numb. That reminds me of the time whereby I was a kid and I was swinging from something high in the house and it broke. I fell backwards and my whole body is numb. By numb I really mean being numb and immobile. Something's wrong. How can a judoka fall on his back and get knocked out? I don't know. This has happened for the second time already. Not the third time please.
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Yeah. And today's randori(fighting) was bad. I blanked out. Gave up already. No fighting spirit. Kept getting thrown all over. Guess I lost the fighting spirit like. What. Years ago? Probably. Mentally weak. Very weak. Need to break the barrier.
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Speaking of that; I think I really need to accept myself. But I can't. I'm ashamed of everything. Of me basically. Samsunone(a fellow empath) posted on the forums today and I find it quite relevant to what's on my mind for quite some time. Here's what she said:->THAT is why it is so important for us empaths to share our love and our insight when needed, as needed. But if you feel like you MUST help someone without being asked, don't waste time! As we have all been reminded recently, life truly is precious and much too short and I could've never have helped those few I have thus far. And I am saying "helped" - not as a guru or saint dispensing some divine wisdom that only I can - but just by being a caring, feeling and perceptive being and connecting with my fellow spirits on Earth and elsewhere, sharing my experiences when needed, or smiling when I feel compelled, or even giving a gift of gratitude, even if it is only to say the simple words, "thank you".
I have learned that our lives and gifts do not always have to mean becoming a "monk on a mountain", but just being a bright shining light in someone's present moment/day/life. Be a good friend - to everyone who is willing to allow you to be. Spouses, children, co-workers...and all friends and strangers are just potential opportunities for mutual enlightenment. You never know who you will meet from one minute to the next, and if you open yourself up more fully to those around you (without over-doing it!) you have greater opportunity for spectacular, amazing experiences everyday! But of course, always know your limits! And shield yourself when you feel danger/anxiety, etc...and if you don't "feel good" about a particular place, person or experience - remove yourself from it/them however you must and let the light shine and the darkness WILL fade....and all of a sudden - you are living a life full of wonder and joy. Peace on Earth is a nice thought - but peace within ourselves begets peace in others and hopefully lessens the need to demand "Peace on Earth"....as they say - pass it on! Heaven is not a destination, but simply a way of perceiving our beautiful place in this universe at the present time.
When a newly-discovered empath finally reaches the point of letting go of insecurities/denial/negativity...I think they tend to look back on their lives and say - "What took me sooooo long?! Why would I want to live like THAT when I can live like this?"
Accept who you are. Know you are a beautiful being. Recognize your gifts. And be a good soul - because all souls are truly good. It's the world/other people that screw us up! Don't let them! And forgive. Our very lives are great gifts to marvel at each day - the fact that we wake, sleep, eat, breathe, feel is miraculous! Why not say "thank you" by just being the brightest light you can be? Instead of always asking what/how will I gain from this? Once you show a little gratitude for just your important piece in the giant puzzle, you will be given back the life you always wanted, but didn't dare think you did!
<- And the gist of it - Accept who you are. Know you are a beautiful being. Recognize your gifts. And be a good soul - because all souls are truly good. It's the world/other people that screw us up! Don't let them! And forgive.=(Sadly, I can't do that. I can't accept myself. I know I need to. But. I feel nothing but shame.
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And I'm getting problems. I keep screaming yet again when I sleep. There's something wrong. I feel intense fear when I have achieved an astral split. That's not normal. I don't usually feel that. I think it's the work of negative entities; but thing is, I've conjured. They shouldn't be able to harm me. It can be a problem of egos though.
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Yes, empathic feedback is shocking. I got drained until my vision blacked out today in judo. Almost fainted but didn't. And on my way home, there's this uncle on the bus who was putting his leg on the other seats(you know, the 4 seater corner facing each other). I was wondering how it would be like to suddenly put immense pressure on his leg and visualizing it snap. I got whammed in the head. I think it's bad to have negative thoughts. quote from Samsunone; "THAT is why it is so important for us empaths to share our love and our insight when needed, as needed."
----------------------
I just came back from judo training and it's quite bad lah. ah. Yeah. For two weeks in a row I get knocked out. Wind get knocked out. Very bad. It doesn't happen to anyone normally. I get thrown by Chin Hua(training partner) and bang! My whole body is numb. That reminds me of the time whereby I was a kid and I was swinging from something high in the house and it broke. I fell backwards and my whole body is numb. By numb I really mean being numb and immobile. Something's wrong. How can a judoka fall on his back and get knocked out? I don't know. This has happened for the second time already. Not the third time please.
----------------------
Yeah. And today's randori(fighting) was bad. I blanked out. Gave up already. No fighting spirit. Kept getting thrown all over. Guess I lost the fighting spirit like. What. Years ago? Probably. Mentally weak. Very weak. Need to break the barrier.
----------------------
Speaking of that; I think I really need to accept myself. But I can't. I'm ashamed of everything. Of me basically. Samsunone(a fellow empath) posted on the forums today and I find it quite relevant to what's on my mind for quite some time. Here's what she said:->THAT is why it is so important for us empaths to share our love and our insight when needed, as needed. But if you feel like you MUST help someone without being asked, don't waste time! As we have all been reminded recently, life truly is precious and much too short and I could've never have helped those few I have thus far. And I am saying "helped" - not as a guru or saint dispensing some divine wisdom that only I can - but just by being a caring, feeling and perceptive being and connecting with my fellow spirits on Earth and elsewhere, sharing my experiences when needed, or smiling when I feel compelled, or even giving a gift of gratitude, even if it is only to say the simple words, "thank you".
I have learned that our lives and gifts do not always have to mean becoming a "monk on a mountain", but just being a bright shining light in someone's present moment/day/life. Be a good friend - to everyone who is willing to allow you to be. Spouses, children, co-workers...and all friends and strangers are just potential opportunities for mutual enlightenment. You never know who you will meet from one minute to the next, and if you open yourself up more fully to those around you (without over-doing it!) you have greater opportunity for spectacular, amazing experiences everyday! But of course, always know your limits! And shield yourself when you feel danger/anxiety, etc...and if you don't "feel good" about a particular place, person or experience - remove yourself from it/them however you must and let the light shine and the darkness WILL fade....and all of a sudden - you are living a life full of wonder and joy. Peace on Earth is a nice thought - but peace within ourselves begets peace in others and hopefully lessens the need to demand "Peace on Earth"....as they say - pass it on! Heaven is not a destination, but simply a way of perceiving our beautiful place in this universe at the present time.
When a newly-discovered empath finally reaches the point of letting go of insecurities/denial/negativity...I think they tend to look back on their lives and say - "What took me sooooo long?! Why would I want to live like THAT when I can live like this?"
Accept who you are. Know you are a beautiful being. Recognize your gifts. And be a good soul - because all souls are truly good. It's the world/other people that screw us up! Don't let them! And forgive. Our very lives are great gifts to marvel at each day - the fact that we wake, sleep, eat, breathe, feel is miraculous! Why not say "thank you" by just being the brightest light you can be? Instead of always asking what/how will I gain from this? Once you show a little gratitude for just your important piece in the giant puzzle, you will be given back the life you always wanted, but didn't dare think you did!
<- And the gist of it - Accept who you are. Know you are a beautiful being. Recognize your gifts. And be a good soul - because all souls are truly good. It's the world/other people that screw us up! Don't let them! And forgive.=(Sadly, I can't do that. I can't accept myself. I know I need to. But. I feel nothing but shame.
----------------------
And I'm getting problems. I keep screaming yet again when I sleep. There's something wrong. I feel intense fear when I have achieved an astral split. That's not normal. I don't usually feel that. I think it's the work of negative entities; but thing is, I've conjured. They shouldn't be able to harm me. It can be a problem of egos though.
----------------------
Yes, empathic feedback is shocking. I got drained until my vision blacked out today in judo. Almost fainted but didn't. And on my way home, there's this uncle on the bus who was putting his leg on the other seats(you know, the 4 seater corner facing each other). I was wondering how it would be like to suddenly put immense pressure on his leg and visualizing it snap. I got whammed in the head. I think it's bad to have negative thoughts. quote from Samsunone; "THAT is why it is so important for us empaths to share our love and our insight when needed, as needed."
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