I feel like hell. Running nose for over a week. It's getting worse. I'm losing the will to function properly. I'm in my room. It's raining outside. The sky is getting dark but I don't want to switch on the lights. What am I feeling exactly. I don't know. Let me try listing them down.

-despair-alone-sick-cold-waiting for time to pass/death to come?-useless-weak-fear-blank-troubled-confused-lost-a stone-shit-helpless-

There are like so many things that I can solve, but with this current state of mind, it's impossible to do so. As for other problems, it's just bad. Things not beyond my control. Things.. Why worry? I don't know.

A year ago. I'm different. I coop myself up at home, I simply don't like to go out. Home is simply wonderful. Me and my computer. Cyberland is where I am king. I fear nothing. Pleasure, happiness, all sorts of illusions.

3 years ago. I'm so much more different. I'm an idiot. Mama's boy. Still cracking lame jokes. Lame and cold jokes. Not funny at all. Self-entertaining. I look like an idiot too.

We change. We all change. But some things can't be forgotten.

Let me go find a song. Yup. I was thinking of 'time' and this song came into my mind. It's called Ocean of Eternity by Future Breeze.

When the hands of time move fast and you can�t erase the past.
Then, close your eyes and you will see the ocean of eternity
Come on take my hand
And follow me to the promised land
Hold me close inside your heart
Let us never fall apart
The ocean of eternity
That�s the ocean of eternity

I'm feeling slightly better now. Weird. But my nose isn't getting better.